The Language of Family Constellations

I speak Russian 🇷🇺 , Ukrainian 🇺🇦 and English 🇬🇧.

Does this mean that I can conduct constellations only for Russian-, Ukrainian-, and English-speaking people? No.

In constellations, we work with energy. More precisely, with energetic distortions that accompany events, phenomena, or processes manifested at the ordinary, everyday level.

In constellations, we work with energy.

When a client brings and verbalises a request, the constellation facilitator first of all “listens” with their empty inner attention, allowing the energy to freely reveal itself.

If we work with energy, is it necessary to verbalize the request at all?

Not necessarily. It is totally possible to work without words.

But words help the client and the facilitator attune to each other more precisely. When the client vocalizes their request, their attention moves to the place they want to resolve. The facilitator follows there with their attention as well.

When the client vocalizes their request, their attention moves to the place they want to resolve. The facilitator follows there with their attention as well.

Also, a request expressed verbally can provide important additional information.

For example, the client’s problem arose after a certain event. The facilitator may decide to explore that point for a more complete understanding. Or choose to ask a clarifying question to test a hypothesis and get an indication whether this is the right direction for the work or not.

Another aspect is when working with figures, as I do.

When I show a figure to the client on the screen and say, “With this figure I will place you,” and “With this one I will place something / money / your partner / your symptom etc,” this helps the client follow with their attention there, toward themselves and their request, and allows the energetic process to reveal itself more fully.

If I showed the figure without explaining, or did not show it at all (which is also normal and how many facilitators work), it might confuse or worry the client, especially if this is their first constellation. While, as a facilitator, I intend not to create additional load for the client to process during the session. Also, for clients who are new to constellations, silence during the session may feel disturbing or suspicious, like, “What is even happening here?”

Further, during the session, I, as the facilitator, may ask the client, “How do you feel?” or “Has anything changed now?” and so on. By listening, I calibrate to them, correlating what I see and do on my side with the client’s response. However, the key assessment of the process still happens through observing the energetic movement.

There is also the concept of field phrases, which the facilitator may suggest to the client to say, usually toward the end of the session. However, they are secondary to the energetic movement that has already taken place. They have no real value if they are artificially constructed or used merely for the expressive or dramatic effect of the moment. In such cases, it is more beneficial to allow the energetic movement to continue in silence.

Field phrases are secondary to the energetic movement that has already taken place.

Generally, excessive talking does not help the constellation process. The client’s suffering and anxiety can sometimes be so great, and their desire to break free of them so strong, that verbalising the request may take a long time and may be multilayered, tangled, and incoherent.

For me as a facilitator, this requires additional effort to maintain attention, agility, and the emptiness of the receiving inner container, while filtering what is important and what is unlikely to be relevant to today’s request. If we sit like this for a while, the client usually begins to calm down.

Some clients may not be able to verbalise the request at all and may only cry or speak in fragments. My position as a facilitator remains the same: give it space.

Sometimes clients can't clearly articulate their requests, but instead just cry or speak incoherently. As a facilitator, I make room for this.

Facilitators experienced in constellation attribution may attempt to put into words hypotheses about what the process might have looked like factually in the past (for the client or their ancestors), bringing clarity to the roots of the present process.

While some masters, as it seems to me, may simply sit in silence with the client for a few minutes - and words are no longer required, even not for the benefit. Everything has already resolved without words.

In conclusion, to summarise:

• Constellations are not a conversational method like psychotherapy, for example. 

• Verbal communication during a session is not required, but it can be productive within reasonable limits. 

• If the client is carried away verbally, they are still my client - I am here for them, and I work for their benefit.

It does not matter what language you and I speak. I am ready to do a constellation work for with you, regardless.

Constellations are not a conversational method like psychotherapy, for example.